She's Healed!

This post is about 5 days over due but I kind of wanted to wait until Tuesday to "Unwrap" it. We went to the hospital last week to have Ainsley's VCUG test for urinary reflux. The test was awful. She was in what looked like a torture device. It's a memory that I am choosing to forget so I'm not going into details about it.

The good news is that SHE IS HEALED! There were no expectations that she would be at this point. It's early for that. I was expecting that if she was going to grow out of this condition, it would be around 3 or 4. But as I stood there with her hooked up to this contraption, the doctor told me that he was seeing no signs of reflux. I was excited but guarded. We still had the appointment with the urologist.

We went to see the urologist later that afternoon. He confirmed what the other doctor was saying. She has outgrown her reflux. There will be no more tests and no more antibiotics. We are done.

Here is the face of one happy girl as we were waiting for the doctor. She is happy and she is healed. We are praising our Creator, our Savior, our Comfort.


What better way to celebrate a Tuesday then to celebrate healing. Go over to Emily's blog and read all the encouraging stories.

Glass Half Full?

A couple years ago I was having a hard time at my job. I wasn't happy. I couldn't tell you why, but I knew I wasn't happy. There were no blaring reasons to be unhappy. I just was. My boss gave me a book to read called The 8 Characteristics of an Awesome Adjuster. Sounds odd since I'm not an adjuster. I read it anyway. The message wasn't anything new, but reading it changed my life.

My problem was a bad attitude. I was thinking of everything with the negative consequences. Never did I look for the good in the situation. The book's main message was to look for the opportunity in every situation. I made myself a little cheat sheet as a reminder and put it on my desk. Every time I was tempted to be negative, I looked at it and remembered to look for the opportunity.

A couple years have passed and I really am a changed person. My attitude is different. I am more pleasant to be around. I love my job. I'm just happier.

I bring this up now because I am still anticipating Friday. I'm still nervous as can be about putting Ainsley through this invasive procedure. I'm still filled with anxiety about the results. But I am now looking for the positive in the situation. Here are a few things I have come up with:

- The test is fairly quick. It will be a rough 30 minutes, but then it is done.
- We get the results the same day. There is no long 2 week wait to drive me crazy.
- The treatment is so much easier now that it was when I was a kid.
- There is a high probability that she will outgrow it before she needs surgery.
- We have the best urologist for this condition. He is known in the field for his ground breaking work.
- We have the Great Physician and Great Comforter on our side.

So as I get ready for Friday, I want to encourage you to take a look at your life. Inspect your attitude. Are you looking at the glass half full or half empty? Consciously chose to be positive. It's a choice that's well worth it.

Dreaded Anticipation

It's that time of year again. No, not the Pumpkin Spice Latte time that my friends keep talking about. It's time to get Ainsley retested for urinary reflux. If you don't know what that is, check back to my post from last September.

Last year the question was had she received this condition from me. The answer was Yes which makes me feel awful. The question this year is has she grown out of it. I am praying for a Yes answer this time. I have no expectations of a Yes answer. I expect to be dealing with this for many years to come. I can only hope for a different answer.

Now that I have been through the test once as the parent, I know more of what to expect. They catheterize her and then fill her bladder up and take continuous x-rays as they wait for it to empty. They are trying to determine if her bladder empties down or whether it empties up as well. We want just down. The hard part last year was the actual catheterising. This year I think that will be hard but I think it will be worse trying to keep her still. She doesn't like to be still. She's 14 months old.

So here it is Tuesday and all I can think about is Friday afternoon. How do I get through these next couple days of dreaded anticipation? What can I bring with me to help Ainsley through the test? Will I get my Yes answer? I can only pray for peace and acceptance.

So on this Tuesday I am going to spend time enjoying my girl for the 14 month old that she is. I am going to revel in the moments that she gives me. I am going to try not to think about Friday because that's still days away. Today is Tuesday and it will be a great day.

Update

We went to the doctor today and Ainsley had her test. She was a trooper (as good as a 10 week old can be). They ended up having to catheterize her 3 times. She peed out the first one. The second one wasn't quite right. The third one was just right. She cried through most of the procedure. She was extremely tired to begin with since she didn't nap well this morning. We finished up there and headed to the doctor's office.

At the doctor, we met our uroligist. He informed us that she does have the reflux on the left side. On a scale of 1 to 5 (5 being the worst) she has a 2. She has an 80% chance of growing out of it by the time she turns 5. The treatment as of right now is low grade antibiotics everyday to prevent any infections. A single infection can cause 20% kidney damage so we want to avoid that.

So after feeling much guilt and pity, I am moving on. This is part of our lives now (as I always assumed it would be). We will test it yearly and continue to trust in the Great Physician for healing.

Tomorrow is a Big Day

My family has a history of urinary reflux. My 2 sisters and I all had it as kids. Out of 5 of my nieces and nephews that have been tested so far, 4 of them have it. As of right now, most of them have grown out of it. My sisters both had surgery for it when they were little. I finally outgrew mine when I was in 3rd grade.

Tomorrow, Ryan and I are taking Ainsley to be tested. I am quite nervous for this. First and foremost, I don't want her to have this genetic disorder. Secondly, I don't want to put my child through this horrible test. I have such feelings of guilt that I could have passed this disorder on to her. I know that there is nothing you can do to determine what genes are passed and what aren't but its still rough on the mommy in me. Its also going to be tough for me as it will bring back many memories I have of being tested yearly until the 3rd grade.

So pray for us tomorrow. Pray that she doesn't have it. Pray for Ainsley to do well in the physical part of the test. Pray for my emotions. Pray for us to make wise decisions if she does have it.

Thanks and I will keep you posted.