Halloween Part 1

Here are pictures of Ainsley's Halloween outfit. Pictures of her in costume to be posted later

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for...

1. 7.5 ounces pumped before 7:00pm
2. The ExerSaucer courtesy of Aunt Jill



3. Cute baby clothes - Those are socks with a pattern of shoes, not actually shoes. That's a homemade sweater from a co-worker's Aunt.



4. A supportive husband
5. A new work schedule that allows me one more full day with Ainsley

By the way, it is such a good exercise to think of what you are thankful for weekly. It puts all the hard things into perspective.

Being a Mom can be Hard

WARNING...I am about to talk about breast feeding. Continue on at your own risk...

Before I even got pregnant, I was committed to breast feeding a baby for at least a year. I knew there would be difficulties but I was going to do it no matter what. I know that breast milk is best for the baby and it is also much cheaper. I was committed.

Today, I am questioning that commitment. I know this is just one of the difficulties that I will have to endure, but it's really hard this week. Let me start by saying that I have never had a huge supply of milk. I hear stories of people leaking. I am not one of those people. I have always had enough for Ainsley. Surplus is a dream, not a reality.

I have been back at work for 3 1/2 weeks now. I had arranged with my boss that while at work, I would pump twice. Everything was going fairly smooth until this week. Typically at work when I pump, I get at least 4 ounces. I also pump right before I go to bed. Usually another 4 ounces. That puts me even for the day.

Yesterday I struggled to get my 4 ounces at work, but I did it. I pumped before I went to bed and only got 2 ounces. I was down 2 ounces. My freezer only has about 3 days surplus so I can't afford to go down. I decided that I would get up at 1:45 to pump again. I did it. And then I was up again at 4:30 with Ainsley.

Today I struggled even more. My first pump I got 3 1/2 ounces. The second only 3. I called the Women's Hospital. They told me that I am doing everything right and to just keep feeding her alot and pumping alot. They said to try pumping after I feed her. I got home today and thought I would give this a shot. I had my bottles on the coffee table attached to the pump on the floor. My dog, Tucker, ran by and knocked one over. I only lost a tiny bit but my heart broke. I work so hard for each and every drop.

So here it is 7:30 and Ainsley is down for the night. I am down 5.5 ounces. I will pump at least 2 more times tonight. I can only pray that I will get enough to be even by the time I wake up and start it all over again tomorrow.

Do any moms out there have any suggestions or words of encouragement? I could sure use them.

Update on Omar

I want to thank all of you who have been praying for Omar. Surgery went well. He had to stay in the hospital for 2 days but is "home" now. He is actually staying with an older Iraqi couple that he hangs out with regularly. They have welcomed him into their home.

We have had a few people provide meals for him while he is recovering. For those of you who have done this, thank you so much. His recovery is going to be slow. Right now, his perspective is that he should feel no pain when he takes pain medication. For those of you who have had surgery or had an injury like this, you know that just isn't true. Pain medication is meant to make the pain bearable. This has been a hard concept for him. It will be interesting to see what happens when the pain medication runs out.

We are trying to help Omar learn from this situation. I spent some time trying to explain that when people say things that are not true about you it is sometimes best to walk away. He stated that the people told him that he wasn't a man and that hurt him. I tried to explain the "walk away" strategy again. The whole concept is completely lost on him. We believe that is due to culture and his thick skull combined.

I ask you to continue to pray for him and his recovery. Most importantly, pray that he will get to know the Great Physician in which many of us trust.

Congrats to Ms. MaryBeth

I can finally say it. Ainsley's other nanny, Ms. MaryBeth, is pregnant with her second child. She is due June 6th. We are very excited for her.

She announced her pregnancy in church on Sunday, so I am now safe to talk about it here. It's been tough not to mention it because it has had some affect on our child care situation. She was very very sick in the first few weeks. During that time, Grandma Anne stepped in and took over. It seems the major sickness has passed now. Ainsley is very happy to be spending her Mondays and Tuesdays with her and her son Robbie.

Ryan, Ainsley, and I just wanted to publicly take this space to say...

CONGRATS MARYBETH, ROB, ROBBIE, AND BABY!

Cloth Diaper Update

I have been doing the cloth diapers for a week now. I only have 4 so she isn't in them all the time. We usually do 2 a day and then use compostable disposable diapers the rest of the time (which work great and don't kill the environment). So far, it has been pretty easy. I just throw them in the wash with all the stuff in them and they come out spotless again. I was shocked the first time.

I have bought 3 more diapers off of Ebay. I am looking forward to when they get here. I won't have to do the laundry quite so much once I have more. I can see how buying these diapers would become addictive.

My only beef with the whole thing is that they are bulky. My girl is already big on the bottom with lots of rolls and this makes it worse. I am going to have to pull out some of the 6-9 month pants for her to wear when she has the diapers on. It's not a huge issue, just something that is a little annoying.

Overall, we are happy with the process. Ainsley is still enjoying them as well. She still laughs at me when I put them on her. It's just too cute. I'll be sticking it out for awhile longer. I'll let you know if my opinion changes after time.

Our Other Child

Since November of last year, Ryan and I have been working with a Iraqi refugee named Omar. I have to admit, it's about 90% Ryan and 10% me. He has a very tragic story that will absolutely break your heart. We have adopted him as our "son". We have recruited Ryan's family to step along side him with us. This really has been a "village" effort. Omar has been quite a challenge.

He came here in the early fall of last year and we got hooked up with him through the ESL classes at our church. Ryan has been a regular participant in that ministry. The relationship started because Omar just needed a friend. It has grown into so much more. We call him our other child.

He is a 28 year old man who has the maturity of a 16 year old boy. This is in part due to his tragic story. He left home as a refugee when he was 17 years old and has been on his own ever since. Many of the issues that we have dealt with have been maturity issues. He doesn't understand a budget, he doesn't want to go to work, he doesn't understand bills, etc. Our biggest struggle has been his abuse of alcohol. I know that he abuses alcohol as a way to shelter his feelings of loneliness, fear, and tragedy, not that this is an excuse. We are hopeful that he will seek treatment for this disease in the near future.

This past Saturday, Omar was at a coffee shop and got beat up really badly. It was a 4 on 1 conflict, Omar being the 1. His aggressors beat him up with a pool stick. They were aiming for his head but Omar blocked it with his arm. The result was a very badly broken arm. He is recovering from surgery right now.

I write all this for one reason. I need those of you who are believers in the Great Physician to pray for Omar. He needs not only physical healing but emotional and spiritual as well. Pray for us to give Godly counsel. Pray that we would have the words to say when there are no words. Pray that Christ's love will be shown to him in more ways than we can ever imagine.