Ainsley woke up on Thursday morning sounding hoarse and sick. It came on very quickly. I quickly reshuffled schedules and brought her over to Ryan's mom's house. I called Leah and told her to look into finding a place for Logan for the afternoon. I went to work and tried to concentrate. My mind was one place - home with my baby. I left an hour early and came home to find a pathetic looking child who needed to see the doctor. We went to the doctor and were informed that she has croup. We were told to keep her sitting up and bring her out to the cold to help her breath. Make her sleep in her car seat sitting up. Mostly the instructions were to just let it run its course.
So here I am on Saturday afternoon and I haven't left the house since Thursday afternoon. I have spent time just cuddling and holding my baby. She has been sick before but nothing like this.
As I have held Ainsley a realization has really sunk into me for one of the first times. Prior to now I really felt like she could be happy with anyone. But now I know...I am her Mom. I am the one that she wants when she doesn't feel good. I am the one who is there to take care of her. I am the one who will let her cough so hard she throws up on me. I am the one who will hold her as she cries. I know I am many other things too. Those other parts of my life are important. But right now, I am only one thing...a Mom.