Nothing But the Krums

As promised in my last post, I have changed blogs.  Come on over to the new blog and follow me there.  If you happen to be one of the 2 people who have this blog in your Reader or are following me, take a minute and change it. 

And the new address is....

NothingButTheKrums.Blogspot.com

A Year in Review

I thought I would review my year. What better way to do that than to go back through my blog. Want to take a trip down memory lane with me? Here goes


January
Ainsley Started eating solids
Ainsley learned to roll over

February
I started watching Logan
Ainsley got Croup
I had a huge project at work roll out
I appreciated the women in my life

March
Taylor got cancer
March Madness captivated me AGAIN
Ainsley started looking like me

April
Taylor had many hang ups after his cancer surgery
Taylor's final pathology came back clear after both surgeries
I stopped watching Logan
We got chickens

May
I celebrated mother's day
Ainsley ate Tucker's tooth
We took Ainsley to the beach for the first time

June
Ainsley found a soul mate
We enjoyed our garden
Ainsley became more like me

July
We headed to the Adirondacks
Ainsley turned 1
Ainsley was SO BIG

August
I was in the desert
Libby got cancer

September
Kate got married in NYC
Ainsley outgrew reflux

October
I went through first time mommy panic
Ryan and I celebrated a kissable moment
Grandma turned 90

November
My love of Lists grew
We all got sick
I got a new kitchen

December
Ainsley spread cheer
Ainsley started to look like her cousin


I can't believe all those things happened this year.  Some of them seemed like yesterday and some felt like lifetimes ago. 

For 2010, I am going to change my blog address.  I hate this one.  I set it up on a whim when I was on maternity leave and very hormonal.  It's a cheesy title and I just hate it.  My next post will tell you where to find me in the future.  Stay tuned.

The Postman Messed Up

The other day my sister called me shortly after she got my Christmas card. She told me her daughter Riley (4 years old) opened the card and just started laughing. She said the postman must have messed up and sent her a picture of herself.

Here are is a comparison of our Christmas picture and an old picture of Riley. What do you think? Twins right?

Christmas Cheer

This time of the year is busy for so many people. We are no exception. This week I am prepping my house for our annual Christmas party (current head count at 58 and counting) and working on Christmas cards.

I just have to keep reminding myself to stop and look at the cuteness that is in the midst of Christmas. Because she's there, right in the middle of it all.

Red Shoes and all...
If you do have time, go over to Emily's blog and take a look at how everyone else is stopping to enjoy the moment.

Brag Time

I really try to make this blog about more than my child. I know everyone isn't as interested in her as I am.

That being said, I took some really cute video of her today. Here are the highlights. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

I Big Red Heart My New Kitchen

As many of you know, we have been remodeling our kitchen for the past few months. It's been a project of phases. 4 to be exact. First we ripped down a cabinet. Then we tiled the floor. Then we put in granite counter tops. Finally, we added trim to the cabinet doors and repainted them, replaced the drawers, and painted under the chair rail.

It's been a turbulent couple months of tearing down and rebuilding, BUT it's so worth it. I love it! And it didn't cost the $20K that we were originally quoted. This was a kitchen remodel on a budget, but you could never tell.

Let's tell the story in pictures....

The Cabinets Before...
The Cabinets After...

The Eat In Before...

The Eat In After...

The View From the Family Room Before...

The View From the Family Room After...

The Left Side of the Kitchen Before...

The Left Side of the Kitchen After...

The View In Before...

The View In After...

So as you can see, there were some big changes, some little changes, some paint, some hardware, some sweat, and some love. All of that leads to a kitchen that I can't wait to use...Oh and I'll be using it prepping for our Christmas party on December 19th! Happy Unwrapping to me!

Simple Things

It's the simple things that keep you going when you are down. We are all still battling illness but in the meantime we are relishing in the simple things. And dare I even say it, IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE!

Here is my latest...My little girl loves to sit in our rocking chairs and rock herself. It's pretty cute.

Down But Not Out

If you follow me on Facebook or Twitter, you know that we are having a few issues with our health lately. Here's a recap of where we are:

Ryan - Started feeling sick the first week of November. Came down with a fever the second week of November. Got better after 6 days with a fever. Was better for 3 days when the fever resurfaced yesterday. He has been to the doctor and the recommendation was rest. He took 4 days off from work last week and suffered through a miserable day today at work. We are 90% certain this is the Swine Flu.

Ainsley - She has been coughing and snotty for a little over a week. I took her to the doctor the other day after a complete day of lethargy. He gave her some cough medicine but said this was also a rest and waiting game

Me - I have been coughing for over a week now. I finally went to the doctor yesterday when I came down with a fever. I have bronchitis. I am home from work today and probably tomorrow.

Needless to say, I am entirely discouraged. BUT, we have been very cared for by our family and friends. We have had meals brought to us. We have had people offer to take care of Ainsley. We have been prayed for. So we are down and could use your prayers, but we are definitely not out.

My Day Might Suck But My Life is Awesome

I started this Birthday in a really crappy mood. I was tired and sick. So I did what I do best, I made a list of why it sucked.

And then I had a great friend, Jon, comment and give me a perspective shift. So yes, I am sick and I am tired BUT...

• I have a God that runs the universe and dwells in me
  
• I have a wonderful husband - sick or not
• I have the most beautiful daughter in the whole wide world
• I have awesome parents who love me like I love my daughter
• I have great sisters who tease me and protect me at all costs
  
• I have awesome in-laws who love me like their own child
  
• I have wonderful friends who do things like make me cakes and offer to make me dinner
• I have a great job that I love to come to 4 days a week
  
• I have a warm house and a warm bed to go to at the end of this crappy day
• I have a great nanny who loves my child like her own (even when my child's sassy)
• I have new granite counter tops going into my kitchen this week
• I have just about everything...

So yes..the day sucks but the life is awesome and I have the list to prove it.

Happy Life to Me!

It's My Birthday and it Sucks

I always love my birthday. It's a day all about me. What's not to love?

Today is my birthday and at 8:00 I can already declare that this birthday sucks. Here are my reasons why....

1. I'm tired. I have gotten a total of 8 hours of sleep in 2 nights. I've been up since 4 this morning
   
2. I'm sick. I've been coughing up a storm and my nose is icky
3. Ryan's sick. He has been the reason that I haven't slept. He's coughing louder than I am
4. I'm at work. This is typical for my birthday but when you are sick it's even worse.
5. I don't think I have any presents waiting for me (Ryan's been too sick to get anything and frankly he shouldn't because I didn't get him anything for his birthday...what goes around comes around)
6. I have to cook tonight. Our counter tops are being replaced this week and we have to go out to eat on Wednesday and Thursday and we can't afford to eat out 3 nights in a row
7. I'm sick. I know I already mentioned it but I am and I hate it

So there's my list for the day. I guess that's a positive about my day...I got to make a list...and you all know how much I love lists.

Happy Stinky Birthday to me!

Who Does My Child Look More Like?

Here is a recent picture of Ainsley (Don't mind the black eye...she's learning to walk). Who does she look more like?

Boo from Monsters Inc?

OR

Cindy Lou Who?

Lists

If you have read this blog at all, you know I love lists. As my friend Beth said the other day, sometimes I make them just so I can cross things off of them. It brings such a sense of accomplishment. I did that. I accomplished my goals. I am good.

Then in Sunday School the other day, we were given 2 lists. It was called a Self-Assessment. There was a list called "The Orphan" and another called "The Son/Daughter".

Some of the things on "The Orphan" were:

• Lives on a success/fail basis
• Struggles to trust things to God
• Feels discouraged or defeated
• Solution to failure: "Try Harder"
• A "competent analyst" of other's weaknesses
• Tends to compare yourself with others

Some of the things on "The Son/Daughter" were:

• Not fearful of God
• Freedom from making a name for yourself
• Content in relationships because you are accepted by God
• Is teachable by others
• Content with what Christ has provided
• Doesn't always have to be right
• Is able to freely confess your faults to others
• Experiences more and more victory over the flesh
• God truly satisfies your soul

The exercise was to identify tendencies you see in yourself in the first list and places you most want to grow in the second list.

I wanted so badly to check things off and to feel the sense of accomplishment. Instead I began to feel deep conviction. I was focused on the first list. The struggles are deep. The failure is felt. I for once didn't want to check everything on the list.

And then I thought about the second list. It wasn't a list of things we are good at. It was a list of things that we wanted to have God grow in us. Wow. I'm not responsible for the second list. He is. I can ask but it's not about me doing something. It's about faith in knowing He will.

Grace. Check that off!

When I Survey

Ryan and I go to a church that is launching a church plant. In hope of not sounding too "churchy", it's just really we are starting a new church with some of the same people from our existing church in a smaller setting. The "mission" of the church is to reach the "unchurched" and the "de-churched". (Man was that a lot of quotes for 2 lines)

After much thought and prayer, we have decided to be part of this yet to be named new church. We go to launch meetings every Wednesday night and are part of a Sunday School. It's a very exciting time.

One of the things that the launch team is looking to do is to survey the community. We want to know what people like about church and what they don't like about church. We want to know where the church is failing. We want to have conversations with people we don't know about their experiences with church. It's a big assignment that pushes all of us into places we are not comfortable with. But, it's exciting at the same time.

The other day I went to get my haircut. It was literally just me and 2 hairdressers in the entire shop. I used the opportunity to survey these women. When I left, I was charged up. It was so exciting to talk to people about church and about God. And while I got some interesting information that was relevant to our survey project, I was given something more interesting, a joy of talking about my Savior. Brilliant I know. It got me thinking about how much I don't talk about God and church in my daily life.

And it's Tuesday and that means it's a day to "unwrap" our everyday. So today I am unwrapping a renewed joy in a God that is there everyday, who wants us to talk about Him everyday, who wants us to talk with Him everyday. Pretty amazing!

The Big 9-0

This weekend Ryan's grandmother turned 90. I personally don't have any grandparents left and haven't for almost a decade. Ryan on the other hand has 3.

"Grandma" lives right here near us. She has adopted me as her own grandchild. We often call her the energizer bunny. She just keeps going. She has had a few scares but she always bounces back. And we are so thankful for this. I hope I am as spunky and fun as she is at 90.

We had a small get together at my mother in law's house over the weekend to celebrate. It was a fun evening with good food, a fire in the oven (yes a literal fire that caused havoc), frogs galore (Grandma collects frogs and what else are you going to get a 90 year old woman), and the best cake ever (if I do say so myself since I made it!)

Here are some pictures. Enjoy because we sure did.

13 Years Later

Today is the 13th anniversary of the day that Ryan and I started dating. I was 18, he was 20. We were babies.

We got married a little over 3 years later. We have been blessed beyond belief to have made such a good decision at a young age. I think about the future and if Ainsley tells me she wants to get married at age 22. I might laugh because it sounds ridiculous.

But then again, I know that God has a plan. God's plan included 2 very young people who were both following Him to meet and fall in love when they were just babies. God has pursued us as we have pursued Him. We have clung to each other through rough times. We have pushed each other away during rough times. But the foundation always remains the same. We are committed to each other. We promised each other and we promised God. Sometimes that's just enough. Sometimes that's way more than enough. But it's always enough. And for that, I'm eternally thankful.

Here are 2 pictures from that first year we started dating. I must justify our outfits in the first picture. We were at a Lumberjack ball. As for the second picture, Ryan can still be caught wearing that t-shirt along with all the other "jetski" t-shirts of that era. Melt my heart!

My Kid isn't Retarded But Maybe I am

My last post I talked about Ainsley walking and talking. I talked about insecurities and how I was sure that she wasn't keeping up to her peers.

Well, I have had many a pep talk from my friends and family. She is fine. She may not speak many actual words but I am convinced that she understands just about everything that we say. She may not walk, but I think it's not due to ability. I think it's due to being overly cautious. She definitely gets that from her father.

AND If she is delayed, would it matter? Would I love her any less? A big fat NO. She's my child. She's the gift that God has given me. I love her more than I could ever imagine. Cliche I know.

And how could anyone not love this face?

And since Ryan is away this weekend, there is a lot of time for cuddling and loving. I'm enjoying every second of it.

Better than all the Rest

Insecurity is such a plague to most women. I am not going to talk about men because, heck, I’m not a man and I have no idea how they think. Like most women, I get caught in the comparison trap. I compare myself to others and always find that I don’t measure up or that I'm way superior to others.

Now that I have become a mother, my comparisons and insecurities have translated to my little girl. Don’t get me wrong, I do think my child is the cutest, sweetest little girl ever. I just really worry about her development.

Every Sunday we drop her off at the nursery and there are the other babies in there, walking and talking, many of which are younger than she is. And then there is Ainsley. She’s 15 months old and while she does babble, she has no really consistent words. And she’s not walking. She can take a few steps here and there but for the most part, she gets where she wants to go on her knees.

Now, I don’t blame her for this at all. I blame myself. I blame my poor mothering skills. I blame the fact that I don’t work with her as much as I should.

I guess my real issue here is always wanting to be the best. I want to be better than everyone else and now I’m passing that down to my innocent child. How prideful is that??? Seriously. Hello sin, nice to meet you. Pitiful.

So even now that I am publicly admitting my sin, I am still holding on to it. I am so desperate for being good enough when I fail to recognize that there is never a good enough. We all sin. We all sin differently. Is my sin better or worse than someone else's? No. It's all sin. It's all wrong. It all causes us to need grace.

My prayer today is that I let the Grace of God abound over me. I pray that I recognize sin for what it is. I pray that I can let it go and stop this comparison trap. I pray that my struggle would draw me closer to Jesus.

She's Healed!

This post is about 5 days over due but I kind of wanted to wait until Tuesday to "Unwrap" it. We went to the hospital last week to have Ainsley's VCUG test for urinary reflux. The test was awful. She was in what looked like a torture device. It's a memory that I am choosing to forget so I'm not going into details about it.

The good news is that SHE IS HEALED! There were no expectations that she would be at this point. It's early for that. I was expecting that if she was going to grow out of this condition, it would be around 3 or 4. But as I stood there with her hooked up to this contraption, the doctor told me that he was seeing no signs of reflux. I was excited but guarded. We still had the appointment with the urologist.

We went to see the urologist later that afternoon. He confirmed what the other doctor was saying. She has outgrown her reflux. There will be no more tests and no more antibiotics. We are done.

Here is the face of one happy girl as we were waiting for the doctor. She is happy and she is healed. We are praising our Creator, our Savior, our Comfort.


What better way to celebrate a Tuesday then to celebrate healing. Go over to Emily's blog and read all the encouraging stories.

Glass Half Full?

A couple years ago I was having a hard time at my job. I wasn't happy. I couldn't tell you why, but I knew I wasn't happy. There were no blaring reasons to be unhappy. I just was. My boss gave me a book to read called The 8 Characteristics of an Awesome Adjuster. Sounds odd since I'm not an adjuster. I read it anyway. The message wasn't anything new, but reading it changed my life.

My problem was a bad attitude. I was thinking of everything with the negative consequences. Never did I look for the good in the situation. The book's main message was to look for the opportunity in every situation. I made myself a little cheat sheet as a reminder and put it on my desk. Every time I was tempted to be negative, I looked at it and remembered to look for the opportunity.

A couple years have passed and I really am a changed person. My attitude is different. I am more pleasant to be around. I love my job. I'm just happier.

I bring this up now because I am still anticipating Friday. I'm still nervous as can be about putting Ainsley through this invasive procedure. I'm still filled with anxiety about the results. But I am now looking for the positive in the situation. Here are a few things I have come up with:

- The test is fairly quick. It will be a rough 30 minutes, but then it is done.
- We get the results the same day. There is no long 2 week wait to drive me crazy.
- The treatment is so much easier now that it was when I was a kid.
- There is a high probability that she will outgrow it before she needs surgery.
- We have the best urologist for this condition. He is known in the field for his ground breaking work.
- We have the Great Physician and Great Comforter on our side.

So as I get ready for Friday, I want to encourage you to take a look at your life. Inspect your attitude. Are you looking at the glass half full or half empty? Consciously chose to be positive. It's a choice that's well worth it.

Dreaded Anticipation

It's that time of year again. No, not the Pumpkin Spice Latte time that my friends keep talking about. It's time to get Ainsley retested for urinary reflux. If you don't know what that is, check back to my post from last September.

Last year the question was had she received this condition from me. The answer was Yes which makes me feel awful. The question this year is has she grown out of it. I am praying for a Yes answer this time. I have no expectations of a Yes answer. I expect to be dealing with this for many years to come. I can only hope for a different answer.

Now that I have been through the test once as the parent, I know more of what to expect. They catheterize her and then fill her bladder up and take continuous x-rays as they wait for it to empty. They are trying to determine if her bladder empties down or whether it empties up as well. We want just down. The hard part last year was the actual catheterising. This year I think that will be hard but I think it will be worse trying to keep her still. She doesn't like to be still. She's 14 months old.

So here it is Tuesday and all I can think about is Friday afternoon. How do I get through these next couple days of dreaded anticipation? What can I bring with me to help Ainsley through the test? Will I get my Yes answer? I can only pray for peace and acceptance.

So on this Tuesday I am going to spend time enjoying my girl for the 14 month old that she is. I am going to revel in the moments that she gives me. I am going to try not to think about Friday because that's still days away. Today is Tuesday and it will be a great day.